Little Green Shoots

A soft, wet snow falls gently outside, painting tree limbs and rooftops white. The evening grows dark and the failing light casts a dull, blue hue on the landscape around me. It's still and quiet, except for the flurry of birds at the feeders. I see flashes of color -- the black, yellow, and white of chickadees, the charcoal gray of juncos, the chestnut brown of the sparrows and wrens, the brilliant red and dull yellow of cardinals, and the salt and pepper of the woodpeckers -- as they dart to and from their dinner.

Just off the porch, in a round, cut-off oak barrel, the first green shoots of summer's tiger lilies reach for the sky. The brilliant green appears foreign in the wash of white, like an imposter. I try to reconcile the barren, white world with the vibrant vitality of new life. I want to whisper, "Too soon, little ones. Try again in a week or two."

But in life, as in nature, birth and death coincide and good and evil coexist. To live is to wade through a world of juxtaposition and paradox.

So very often I find myself worn down by the ugliness of this world, mainly the ugliness of people. I think that's why I gravitate to nature and find so much rest and rejuvenation in it. My husband I regularly despair at the state of the world, at the state of civility. It remains one of the reasons we have not had a child. I am in awe of parents. To become a parent, to choose such a daunting path of unconditional love in the face of so much potential sorrow, one must possess boundless hope. Why else would we as a species continue to bring new, perfect life into a world so often dark and ugly?

When we find ourselves burdened by these questions, by these fears, my husband and I find peace and hope in the goodness in people. And when we look to the natural world -- to the mountains, the rivers, the trees, and the sky. To the little green shoots that, even covered in snow, refuse to recoil and, instead, reach for the sky.

I strive to be like these little green shoots -- rising up, reaching high. Finding the light even in the darkest times.